Just Lately

I've had things to look forward to. Yeah there's been testing and I've been in and out of the doctor's and my love life is still stuck in it's usual slump. But I think my whole long lonely streak of obsessing over my singularity has taught me to not be so afraid of being alone. I think maybe finally I'm growing from last year's break up, after months of trying to find the meaning. It's hard to put into words.. i guess maybe just that i'm finally more receptive to the love of my friends and family and having that be enough to satisfy me. instead of focusing on the "fairytale" type stuff.

There's something about nighttime that's so filled with clarity... which is somewhat ironic because it's when the hours are darkest.

man. often i say things that could be followed up with "now let's take a moment and reflect upon this".

things to look forward to:
confirmation
Taylor Swift avec Pauline
End of School
Cruise to Mexico with the Dadivas's. and kimmie. and vanessa.
Possibly Arkansas.

Future

I think the walnut high school population of asians has corrupted my view of the future. I need to remember and redefine my own definition of success. I shouldn't have to fit into the world's definition of success, I will do what I love and what I have passion for and I will do it greatly. College is not the end of the line, a school's guidelines should not be my guidelines. I want to change the world my way, individuals are here for a reason, I'm not going to slip into a path that someone else already blazed through.

ugh.. I suppose I'm agitated only because I feel like high school is almost completely pointless. Whatever, here's to the memories.