Cue suspenseful music...

It's not ignorance that's my downfall, it's apathy.

Originally, I thought the base of it was ignorance or laziness or even defiance, but if I don't care enough then I won't do it, and I will be awfully blatant about it. Is it possible to force myself to care? Would that be more successful or more self benefitting than if I just hoped for some sort of drive to kick in? Probably.
Here I am again in two parts, one shouting get the hell off your ass, and the other rolling eyes saying why should I.
Even if I know the risks to several things considered inappropriate to society, I do them anyway because I could care less. That's dangerous. I know. It's boredom I suppose. I know what I'm doing, I know the possible consequences, but a very large chunk of the time I feel like it doesn't really matter and anyone with a good level of self control will turn out ok. The only problem with this is that to have self control you have to have a certain amount of drive in taking care of yourself; which means caring, which means when it all comes around full circle my downfall is imminent.
Downfall has dramatically negative connotations..like my doom or the death of me, however, taking under consideration my current family issues, the word isn't too far off the mark.

Damnit, I need to save myself. I need to realize that I could be very close to crossing the line, which hopefully will not need to become tangible before I see things clearly.

a;lsfjd...... maybe I'll establish myself a little reward system.