Laziness

Everyone looks the same.
And everyone knows it.

Let's redefine identity..

We fall for it ourselves..
even the strong ones.

We're all vulnerable,
no matter how much we want to deny it.

Is tolerance conformity?
what is tolerance.
Is tolerance for those who are to scared to fight?



I'm sad that I've become so lazy that I don't care that I know I'm a coward.

Australia, by request

To Michelle Shin:

Australia.
well first things first, nicole kidman and hugh jackman would make the world's hottest and most talented children. the Aryan race would kill for kids built like them. and on a personal note, i love that half caste kid. i love his line.."i not black fella, and i not white fella.." my version would be, "i not china fella and i not white fella" but anyway.
LOVED. this movie. i have a feeling, michelle shin, that you will enjoy the kangaroo scene. Humor, romance, evil plot, war, nearly-naked aboriginal man. oh yes. all the necessities for a great movie. it's kind of like moulin rouge minus the cancan dancers and set down under.. less sex, more dirt and nature. and cows.
I think both nicole kidman and hugh jackman did a wonderful job on the whole "turning point in character" you know what i mean? both morphing into the hero/heroine. nicely done.


oh and btw.
i watched most of the da vinci code.... i don't get it.. but i really liked it in an "i am intrigued, but i need to watch it again" type way.. have you seen it?

Thoughts on Movies

I watched Under the Tuscan Sun, He's Just Not That Into You, and New In Town today. Oh and Cold Mountain.
Under the Tuscan Sun.. was the "Things will happen on their own time, just let it fall into place" movie. and honestly i really wanted that lifestyle. Though i kept wondering how she had enough money to spontaneously buy a tuscan villa after going through a divorce. I have no qualms about living in a foreign country but realistically i could never actually settle down and die in a place where no one speaks english. But then again. if i had the chance, i'd probably do it. maybe when i'm old i wont want to talk to anybody anyway.

He's Just Not That Into You.. well. it's weird to think that in 20 years i'll probably be married. hell, in 20 years i could be married twice and divorced. see, this is why i rarely go to sleep happy. i need to stop thinking of good things and then immediately countering them with the worst possible scenarios. anyway. that movie reminded me that i have at least a decade left of dating to do and relationships to learn from. ughhh..how i dread the thought. I want the relationship that jennifer aniston had in that movie. she's the one who ends up married. note to self: love is blind. love is only real if you think, "in 80 years when i can no longer wipe my ass, or if he cannot wipe his own ass, do i love him enough to do it for him?" THEN. and only then, can i marry him. because the tall handsome perfect smile will soon become withered wrinkly and making investments in dencher easy-stick adhesives. oh yes. til death do us part.

New In Town. well that was a nice family movie. that's all i really have to say. not a big fan of canadian accents. sounds like everyone's lips are pruning and there's an oreo stuck vertically in each of their mouths.

Cold Mountain. ahhh my favorite, dark, depressingly romantic, heart-crushing movies. i fall in love with the male leads in these type movies. hello darcy, inman, robbie, and sir charles grey. why am i so in love with them? because they are in agony, absolute desperation for the women they love. and they're not complete wimps or whipped incompetent little men who can't get at the girl out of their league. they are intelligent male figures, strong, accomplished, complete with integrity, and yet they're completely ripped and torn apart because the woman that inspires them to rejoice in their accomplishments is not by their sides. i love it.

when confused, wait.

I'm confused.
I'm too attached. I've been too attached.
I was so used to there not being better.
But I don't know for sure. But just having been so close to it.
I don't want to settle. It'll be hard and possibly impossible.
And idk if i want to try. i want to try, but i've been waiting for this chance.
but maybe i shouldn't take this chance, maybe i should avoid it.
i've been waiting for so long. and just when i was almost there.
something made me doubt what i wanted. and now.
i'm not sure anymore.
i'm too impatient.


i know what i should do.
i just don't want to.

i guess. i should just do. what i know i should do.
or at least try.

i need to go on a walk. and stop moping.