Construction

I think it's funny how fast we all grow and develop and transition.
Especially through high school and our teenage years.

I personally, can't remember much about my childhood. It's faded all too quickly. And for some, I'll admit, I'm happy to have lost clarity.

I'm a sentimental, "look back and reflect upon it" type person. I used to be the epitome of a carefree, innocent, naive, young girl and I was completely oblivious. And I loved it.

Now, I don't know what I am or what I would be categorized as, but that's only because what I do know is that I can't be categorized and I can't fully know myself. I'm constantly changing, I'm constantly coming upon new things, I'm an endless Socratic "the more you know, the less you know" human being. Every layer of myself I come upon needs work, needs tweaking; a lift here, a twist there. I'm continuously under construction.

At first, I wondered why I had become so suddenly critical of everyone else; "why is he so ignorant?" "how can she not see how wrong that is?" All of a sudden, everyone looked so blind to me. I couldn't believe how out of line other people's actions were, not to mention how everyone else had conformed to it as well. But for all that criticism of all the people surrounding me, I hated myself. Even though I hated them, I wanted to be like them because I was alone. Alone with my ridiculous standards I held for everyone around me.

Then I realized that it was because I'd become harder on myself. And in that, I found that I had been blind. People are going to change on their own time. I'm sure that at some point, maybe even right now, someone has looked at me and wondered how I could live in such ignorant bliss. But I just keep having to remember that no matter how long construction takes, something beautiful is always the result.

I know, it's such a cliche to say that everyone is unique. But even cliches are forgotten, so I'll repeat it so you and I both commit it to memory. Everyone is unique, just give them time to develop their intricacies.