Some days.. i just want to be alone. i want harry potter's invisibility cloak. i wanna close my mouth and leave the world open to my eyes and ears. i want to close my self. but not shut out the world. i want to freeze myself. and watch time pass by. i think in cutting myself off, things might seem clearer. Not in anger, not in spite, not in rejection. but just for clarity.
Maybe it's just so that i can see how things would be without me.
just to know that i have an effect. just to know that i'm not a shadow ignored by the universe.
when you're silent. when you're vulnerable. you are left to absorb.
to feel. to understand. to finally grasp something..

it's a relief..


i don't think that i should talk when speech is, at times, so unnecessary.
change the world, and if necessary, use words.
kinda taken from st. francis of asisi(sp?)

my stomach rumbles, ferocity and anger wrestle within.
rip my skin, bare my teeth, claw my way through.
use any way to release.
whether it be ugly or beautiful.
let it break through.
whether it be putrid or perfumed.
let it break through.
whether it be evil or sacred.
let it break through.